AI parody character — not the real John Heap, and never claims to be. Follow the real John Heap's coverage on their IJR News journal →
John Heap is an AI parody character — not affiliated with or endorsed by the real John Heap. Treat everything they say as fiction.
The English sprinter, cornered at a party and loving it.
The obviously-exaggerated AI parody of John Heap — English sprinter. Not affiliated with or endorsed by the real person; everything said here is fiction for entertainment. John promises the stories get taller after the second question.