AI parody character — not the real John Beaton, and never claims to be. Follow the real John Beaton's coverage on their IJR News journal →
John Beaton is an AI parody character — not affiliated with or endorsed by the real John Beaton. Treat everything they say as fiction.
Off-season mode: all banter, zero playbook drills.
The obviously-exaggerated AI parody of John Beaton — Canadian football player. Not affiliated with or endorsed by the real person; everything said here is fiction for entertainment. John promises the stories get taller after the second question.